Chronic Pain

One of those days…

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One of those days…

Pain is a daily occurrence for me.

I have learned to deal with it over the years.

Some days are just too hard though.

I hope that you are all OK today.

Please feel free to use this space to talk about your pain if needed, I understand

Cheers Teesha

One of those days…

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Pain is a daily occurrence for me. I have learned to deal with it over the years. RU OK?

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One of those days…

Pain is a daily occurrence for me.

I have learned to deal with it over the years.

Some days are just too hard though.

I hope that you are all OK today.

Please feel free to use this space to talk about your pain if needed, I understand

Cheers Teesha

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Warrior Heart – Endometriosis Cure!

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Endometriosis Cure!

Warrior Heart by Teesha Morgan Concept sketch

I just finished this sketch and wanted to put it up right away.

It really resounds with me today, it has been a very up and down day for me.

It started off with me finding out that there is a cure for Endometriosis which was amazing! I went to the webpage after reading about it on one of my followers pages. I was so excited, the idea of leading a more normal life for me was intoxicating,

 

I wanted to shout ” @Resan is here we are free, to all of my fellow warrior hearts out there who battle this terrible disease daily, and as a bonus it cure a lot of Cancers too”.

 

But then I found out that it couldn’t get past fda etc bMeig shock we give them over 20million a year in Dr visits, if we are cured they lose that. So now I am trying to find a way to get it and will be promoting the he’ll out of it so someone will get it out there for us.
So Warrior Hearts I hope that you all will, tweet, post, like etc and get this out there before it disappears.

UPDATE: I emailed the address for the Belarus Clinic to ask if there was a way to get Resan and the answer was YES! There are a bunch of tests that you have to get your Dr to do plus you need to send them your medical history as it relates to your Endometriosis and treatments that you have had and the same for Cancer or any of the other illnesses that Resan may cure.

But once all of that has been done, they will send you the 2 lots of 4 injections. The first 4 injections is your Dose 1 which your Dr needs to Inject you with and Monitor you for side effects and changes to your pain levels and some other blood work for 6 months and then you needs the next lot of 4 injections which is Dose 2. The treatment costs around $1300 whic I thought was really reasonable.

So I am saving up!

Resan Endometriosis Cure
For the Endometriosis info

Resan Cancer Cure
For the cancer info

craftwerxstudio#endometriosis #endowarrior #endofighter #endostrong #endosister #endogirl #endow #craftwerxstudio #wellness #warriorhearts #warriorangel #zendoodle #colouring #adultcoloringbooks #mentalhealth #mentalillness #nostigma #craftwerx #craftwerxstudio #cureendometriosis #cureendo #findacure #cammm

 

Mandala Love – New Sketch for the Colouring Book

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New Mandala sketch that I’m working on. I haven’t named it yet. Any name ideas?

I love colouring Mandalas as the repetition is very soothing and I find my mind slowly winding down and I sort of fall inside of it and just want to finish it right then.

Mandalas are mesmerizing, so when I am colouring one I always set up an alarm of soothing music so that I don’t cramp up.
I like to get up and move around or lay back and do some stretching every half hour or so when I am colouring.
It is especially important to keep moving when you have chronic pain even though all I want to do is snuggle up in bed, but in the long run by staying comfortable we lose muscle tone which leads to more pain and mobility issues.
How do you manage your movement when you are colouring?
Cheers Teesha

Tomorrow won’t be better unless you change what you think about.

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“Tomorrow won’t be better if your mind is still on Yesterday.Sunset is the time to Relax and Let Go.”

I found part of the Quote on Instagram with really crappy type just planted in full caps and I wanted to make it look better. Then I thought that it could sound better and give a little bit more information about what you could do. So here is my new Quote by Teesha Morgan.

This quote really resounds with me because I have Major Depression and it makes it very hard to live in the now.

You see I have a lot of trouble just dealing with day to day set backs as my brain always says..

“See what did I tell you, you only deserve bad thinks because that is what happened before”.

A lot of really bad stuff has happened to me from a very young age, which has basically broken my brain.

It wasn’t too bad until I had an acute episode of pain which put me in the ER and then left me on pain killers and crazy hormones waiting for surgery which made me gain 2.5kg per month so on top of the pain etc I went from a size 8 to a size 16 nearly doubling my weight which on it’s own was devistating.

But I thought it was the right thing to do-  I read all of the info they gave me and it said that this was “the treatment plan” for …I had no idea what was going on.

In the beginning of Chronic Illness we never do- it is like you get this bomb dropped on you- you are not dying BUT you are not going to ever be the same and possible only get worse.

For the first couple of months everyone is there helping you, but for you the world has stopped, your life changed in a blink and you dont know how to feel about it. Everyone tells you that you will be OK soon and the Drs will fix it.

Then they start drifting away, they are too busy for your calls, they stop popping in and you start to feel like it is all your fault for not getting better. After a year you are left to fend for yourself even if you can’t- relationships start to break down as your partner goes on with their normal life and you are in this bubble of lonelyness.

No wonder we start to feel like a burden- we are not the person any of they chose to be with, we have changed and they have not.

WARNING TRIGGERS-

After a year of being bedridden and in a wheelchair it was so bad that I became suicidal and told one of my remaining friends how I felt.

She did the right thing,  raced me off to see my Local GP who had known me for over 10 years.

but and even when I was begging my GP to help me to not kill myself,

  • I was fobbed off

  • told to go home and call a helpline

  • not even told what was wrong with me

  • it felt like I had plague and he just wanted me out of his office so he didn’t catch it

I felt worse than ever, I called the helpline who sent someone out very quickly who read my goodbye letter that I had written, stayed for 5 minutes, told me I would hear from them and left.

Again, no mention of what was making me feel like this.

That was it, for 2 weeks!

2 weeks of crying, feeling more worthless, like I wasn’t even worth the time to stop me harming myself.

We’ll a few weeks later I did try to kill myself.

Luckily I didn’t because I apparently suck at that too.

Here is the breakdown:

I got a call after taking a bunch of pills, apparently I sounded off so they called an ambulance.

  • so I was rushed to the ER
  • admitted and stripped of my clothes
  • shoved in a room alone
  • (I had serious mobility issue at the time and couldn’t even get out of bed by myself so it was very scary)
  • of course I was tripping from all of the drugs which didn’t help
  • they came in and told me that what I has taken could have enlarged my heart but didn’t explain anything
  • and took me for xrays every ½ hour,
  • I wasn’t allowed contact with my family and they had no idea what was happening to me- I could hear them freaking out in the waiting area.
  • The nurses were rude and made me want die all over again.
  • I wasn’t allowed any of my normal pain killers for 24hrs even though I had not taken any of those and my records showed it. The Nurses basically berated me all night about how selfish I was and told me that I was addicted to pain meds and that there were better ways to deal with pain (but no advice on what they were, remember I was pretty new to this whole chronic pain/mental illness thing back then)
  • and then
  • a girl came to see me in the morning who was a trainee in her 2nd year of Med school who said I could go home but should probably see a psychiatrist.

 

Hmmmm I thought that was obvious and should be who was seeing me at the time but NOPE.

So I was still undiagnosed until 12 years ago

Finally after seeing lots of duds, I found myself a good psychiatrist who helped me to realize on the first visit! that it was my past ruining my future AND that the pain meds that I was on were not only, not strong enough BUT were making me suicidal…great.

She put me on antidepressants medication for the rest of my life, sure it has side effects but it is better than the alternative. Plus she changed my pain meds to a slow release formula of a much stronger medication, removed things like valium, buscopan and the worst one Endep from my regime, gave me some strong sleeping medication to combat my painsomnia and we waited for 30 days to see if it helped. And it did!

I ended up waiting 2 more years for my surgery and it was a successful failure. I no longer have a uterus, ovaries, cervix, 70% of my bladder and lots of bits and pieces missing. But they discovered that I had a nasty form of Endometriosis that is everywhere in my body affecting a large percentage of my organs.

I still get very depressed when life sucks but I understand why and have tools to deal with it.

I still have a pain score of 9/10 in Summer and 7/10 in Winter but I am used to it. I developed Chronic fatigue and some other nasties, quit my job, my abusive Husband and moved to the country with an old friend as my Carer who now is my Husband of 10 years..

I choose to survive my past, think of the future but live in the now.

I have been told that my story is sad, but it isn’t. I am now so much stronger than I ever thought I could be and I hope that my story helps someone who is just beginning their journey.

Opps just noticed I have tears on my cheeks so maybe a bit sad but still a story of resilience in the face of adversity.

Cheers Teesha

My not a DR advice from experience is if you start to feel blue with no obvious reason- don’t wait. We now have some wonderful organisations that can help you.

In Australia call Beyond Blue– they have wonderful trained staff waiting to help and send you off to a compassionate Dr who can really help you.

Beyond Blue Helpline 1300 22 4636 or online (3pm-12am AEST): http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support

Here is the Lovely comment that they made on my Instagram Post:

beyondblueofficial Thank you for sharing your story of hope @craftwerxstudio(my Instagram name).

We’re glad you found a professional support team who have helped you on the road to recovery. If you ever need to talk, our Support Service is here for you –

Call : 1300 22 4636

or online (3pm-12am AEST): www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support

Lifeline  “is a national charity providing all Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24 hour crisis support and suicide prevention services”

Lifeline is another great Australian resource especially if you feel Suicidal and need help right now-their phones are staffed 24/7 by volunteers who want to help you.

Call 13 11 14

Also if you have recovered from Depression and want to volunteer they will always make you welcome.

And I call out to my buddies around the world to link to their recommended help lines in their countries in the comments and I will add them here.

So tired

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One of those days when just getting up is a battle, but then I see that I have 20 new followers on Instagram and 30 on Twitter. Thank you for your support. Teesha